My dog thinks I'm fat.

Many interesting events to share and not enough time or energy to do it. Well, I hate to start with bad news but it goes with my story... as you know Justin and I lost our second baby recently...well, two weeks after we found out we were pregnant one of my best friends, Laura, found out she was pregnant as well! Yay! A few weeks later we lost our baby and only two weeks after that, they lost theirs too =( It was a very sad time for both of us but we walked that road together and God gave us each other to make it through. Well, just a few weeks after our miscarriages one of my other closest friends, Whitney, found out she was pregnant...YAY! again. and just last week, they too lost their baby. Pray for both their families to grow and that one day we will all be strolling our little babies around the neighborhood together very soon =) I knew my job was to comfort and understand her in this time so we've spent a lot of quality time together lately. All of this was to say that after my pregnancies, however short they may have lasted, I just felt fat. I hadn't really gained any weight, thanks to the vomitting, but the shaped of my body changed almost immediately. At first I thought this was all in my head and that I was just making excuses for myself but after my two close friends went through the same thing and BOTH admitted that they too feel and look differently.....I know that it really happened. Hope that makes sense. So, I've been eating sooo much healthier. Thanks to my mom I know how many "points" every piece of food I eat is worth (though sometimes I pretend that I don't). And I've started back up my exercise routine. And I've even dropped a couple pounds here and there.....mainly I just want to be lean and not "soft" so here I am working toward that goal and thinking I'm doing pretty good. Then this morning my sweet little Prissy was eating her breakfast. The way she eats every meal is to bring two or three little bits into whatever room Justin and I are in and set them down, eat it then, or hide them, and then go back for a couple more bits. I guess that way she is burning off each bite while she eats...who knows? So this morning she was trying to wedge herself between me and the seat I was in and I was wondering why she wanted to be SO close to me all of a sudden. Well, a little while later I got up and realized that she had hidden two little pieces of food under my butt.........what the heck Prissy? But despite this, I choose not to take this as an omen of my growing rear.....what does she know? she's a dog........

Anyway, back to the whole baby thing. I've mentioned that my doc is doing boo-coodles of testing to find out why we are losing the babies and one of those, quite painful, tests was on Tuesday of this week. It is called a hysterosalpingogram (yeah) and basically includes a tube, some dye, an x-ray machine, and lots of pain for me.....you can imagine for yourself. So before the test I was instructed to get my blood drawn for the 1 billionth time and then come back at one for my procedure. After visiting the blood lab, with the lady that I LOVE, who knows me by sight now (she may be the god-mother of my future child), I went back to school to get ready for the kids coming next week. But before I got any work done my nurse called me. Here is how the convo went:

Nurse: Christi?
Me: Yes?
Nurse: We have to cancel your procedure for today.
Me: Why?
Nurse: We got your blood results back.
Me: Ok
Nurse: And they tested positive...
Me: Positive for what? (I don't know what I was expecting her to say? Heroine?)
Nurse: Pregnancy!
Me: (Silence)
Nurse: Christi?
Me: Is that possible?
Nurse: Here, I'll let you talk to the doctor...
Doctor: Christi..(with that, you're in trouble voice)
Me: Yes sir?
Doctor: How are you doing?
Me: Fine until right about two minutes ago.
Doctor: Is there a possiblity that this could have happened?
Me: (thinking: Your the doctor...I don't know?) Maybe.

This is where I started crying a bit because I was afraid we would have a new messed up baby and I knew we did something we weren't supposed to do.....but the doctor reassured me that if it was a new baby that it should be fine and he wouldn't worry. Then started my frantic phone call to my husband.

Me: Hey baby.
Justin: Hey
Me: I just got off the phone with the doctor and they aren't going to do my procedure today.
Justin: Good. (He knew it would be painful so he didn't want me to go through with it) Why?
Me: My bloodwork came back positive.
Justin: positive for what? (I guess he is just like me)
Me: pregnancy.
Justin: (Silence)
Justin: (Silence)
Justin: (Silence)
Justin: Is that possible?
Me: I don't know, if it is, it was God showing me that he has a sense of humor.
Justin: Okay
Me: Love you
Justin: Love you too, bye.


(15 minutes later) - my phone rings
Me:Hello
Justin: Did you just call me and tell me you were pregnant?
Me: I think I did.
Justin: Okay, bye.

So I went back and got some more tests and we are pretty sure that I am not "pregnant"....either the hormones were left over from the last miscarriage (which my doc says is the longest he has ever seen them left over) or we had a chemical pregnancy meaning.....we lost another one before we even knew it =( The doctor tried to assure me that it was probably just left over from the miscarriage but he had been quite sure before that it wasn't (then suddenly changed his tune)....so, I think he just wanted to protect me from the possiblity that we lost another one. So, I'm going with his story........Those hormones are just hanging around a bit! No worries, we are pressing on.

Can anything be easy?