Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Bless Yourself!

Okay so Monday night was "Laguna Beach" night which is my favorite show of all times......I miss Audrey! (But soon Jo will be my new Beach Bum Buddy) and I basically hate Kristen (even though I think she is extremely cute and i might would be her friend) I just hate how she treats boys, and how they all forsake the good girls for her! it just ain't right man. I wish she would stay away from Talan so him and Taylor can live happily ever after.......and this is how i feel. Stay tuned next week for episode 23 recaps.

So this week I am 'on-call' at work. Since i am a Software Engineer for law enforcement officers, this means that whenever they break something (which we all know is an easy thing to do) I make it all better. Well, the 'on-call' person gets all the calls from these officers after hours. Meaning from 5pm-8am the next morning!!! yeah it is as bad as it sounds. So, not only is there great potential that i will be awaken during my 8 hour slumber but I can also be interrupted from other fun activities. For example, Tuesday night bowling was virtually non-existent for me last night. I had so many calls that i spent the entire night outside in the humidity because i couldn't hear for all the noise inside. So i finally packed up and left Justin and the others there to finish their fun night without me.........=( And even worse, I went to get a manicure/pedicure which is on my top ten list of fun things to do, but now I think the little Vietnamese people hate me because everytime my stupid phone rang I pulled my hand away to answer it. I will forever be branded as the "won't hold still" girl! But hey, at least I know I am helping law enforcement to better do their job, to protect and to serve, and I hope one of those hefers tries to give me a ticket..........

So I am reading this book called "First Love" by Bill Bright. It is all about getting back to that passion and devotion that you had when you were first saved. And I am really getting a lot from it so far. "Nothing is as sad as the glowing embers of a once blazing devotion." I am a very object-oriented and this picture is perfect to me. Probably beacause love and passion are things that almost make you burn inside and when they are absent or fizzle out, this is the picture in my mind, ashes and embers. Whenever I picture my devotion like this it motivates me to rekindle my fire. So as I am renewing my first passion of my savior I am realizing that it is causing me to renew the other relationships in my life. And it all comes down to selflessness, and there is a huge difference between being selfless and not selfish. Sometimes, especially in my marriage, I tend to reward myself, in a sense, for not being know like, not trying to get everything I want, or not doing things only that benefit me. But I truly want to learn to be selfless, this is more of a complete disregarding of myself. Not that I don't want good things but that I don't let that be my motive in any action. I don't want any thoughts of myself or my benefit to come before I do anything, but only the benefit of someone else. I want my actions to benefit God, I want my actions to benefit Justin, I want my actions to benefit my family, I want my actions to benefit every friend I've ever had..............It's not about ME! One of my favorite quotes is "Don't think less of yourself, think of yourself less". I wish it weren't human nature to think this way. I hope that I can teach my children one day how to think of others first, but I don't know how if I can't do that very action myself. So this is my goal! Since I have undertaken this endeavor my relationship with my husband has grown so much sweeter. Not to mention my relationships with some of my friends. It is so amazing how love truly does multiply! I wasn't going to but, i think justin would be saddened if I didn't mention the gorgeous bouqet of flowers he sent to my work yesterday........tiger favorite! I just count it as a blessing God is using to encourage me on this path. I have come to appreciate my husband like never before. This past month has been one adorable thing after another, flowers here and there, sweet cards, little gifts, and the most precious, his time and attention. I hope that I can be as good a spouse to him as he as been to me.

Well, I am looking forward to this weekend, I am finally going home! yayyy! I miss my family so much and I can't wait to see all my neices and nephews and meet sharry's new boyfriend. I'll update you all on how that goes. Plus Jessica is on the homecoming court at our high school, I hope she does well but either way, she totally gets to wear a cute dress! Hey that's winning to me!

Okay I am gonna end this blog with the funniest as i am praying last night, and telling jesus how much I love him and thank him and praise him for who he know how when you are really tired you catch yourself just rambling in your prayers and not really knowing what you are talking about at all.........well when i finally came to my senses I heard myself say, "God Bless you"......................I was talking to God and I said God Bless You. I have no idea how that came about but i started laughing histerically, much the same as I did today at lunch when i was telling Tori this story. I mean really, I might as well have said, "Bless yourself". And so this will become my new catch phrase........

Bless Yourself,

Monday, September 26, 2005

All i wanna do........Is grow old with you........

Matt and Kristen are engaged!!! Yay, so I basically get mad props, being that I have never held a secret for this long………..three weeks! Three weeks! That is seriously a record. And now the secret is out! They’re engaged. I love it. They are so cute. Two peas in a pod even. Oh and the ring……. GORGEOUS! That boy knows his diamonds! Hahah! St. Patrick’s Day is never gonna know what hit it. So since Kristen refuses to have a blog and put all her business out for the world to see………I’ll do it for her!! He proposed on her front porch, the place they shared their first kiss, the place they shared their first “I love you”…plus he said he wanted her to be able to wear that ring all night!! So sweet! After taking her to Jackson’s and a play they wrapped the night up in no better place than …….our house, where I proceeded to make them pose for random pictures in the kitchen. What can I say, I’m a mom at heart!

Okay so a little about our weekend. We ate dinner with Rachel and Charlie on Thursday night which was so fun being that we don’t get to see those kids too much now-a-days. They are moving in their new house next week and I know they are soooo excited!
Friday we got to babysit Mollye (Rachel’s basset hound) while Charlie and Rachel went to Memphis. She is so sweet! She’s been feeling real bad lately and I was so glad to see her running around (well, waddling) and playing with Prissy and Spencer. I am praying that she has a miraculous recovery.

Saturday, after Kurt called 3 times in the wee hours of the morning before he realized he was calling our house phone instead of justin’s cell, I got up and took the dogs to the groomer’s. Prissy looks so much older, she is completely grey now and sooo shiny. She is adorable. Justin and Kurt spent the day putting up an electric wire around the bottom of our fence so that Spencer can’t dig his way out. The first time he touched it all four of his feet came off the ground…… cruel! But I will admit that I laughed. And I went and bought him a new cedar doghouse, it is so cute and since it has been raining like crazy due to Rita, he loves it! After all that labor we took a long nap, I think that is becoming a staple in our marriage. Then it was DATE NITE!!! Yayy! We grabbed some grub and went to the movies, which doesn’t sound like much but we’re talking about the two kids who always plan on going to the movies and always end up renting one and lounging on the couch. It was good to get out for once. Then Matt and Kristen came over to celebrate the engagement.

Sunday morning came wayyyy too early. I was real excited about seeing my kids though……..they always make me laugh. For example, I was trying to teach them how small things can have big impacts. So I put a Tylenol, a breath mint, and a pile of salt on the table and had them guess what they all had in common. I thought this would be an easy task but I underestimated the little boogers. I asked them to tell me what each of the items were in which they all at once replied……. “Tylenol, a breath mint, and COCAINE”. You can’t plan this type of thing, I know I am supposed to be the Sunday School teacher but I couldn’t help but bust out laughing. After which I gave my “just say no to drugs” speech of course! After church, we all went to hang out with Joanna and James at Ms. Joy’s house. Jo and James look happier than they ever have together (well since I have been around) and I really see that it is an answered prayer, I just love them and can’t wait to see them get married. Just as long as they don’t have cuter babies than me!! Hahah! After lunch we went home and of course……..took a nap! One of God’s little blessings. Next we went to Ashley’s house, mostly to see Ash, but while I was there I HAD to buy make-up from her. I really HAD to, it’s in my bones!! During which I realized that if it is in a pretty bottle or had the words “princess” or “angel” in the name……..I will buy it!! She is starting to sell BeautiControl (a Christian company) so if you are interested let me know, she is coming out with a website to order from soon………I can’t wait to get in my first order! (and so ends my sales pitch for Ashley)
Next on the list was Tokyo with Matt and Kristen. It was fun, this is the restaurant Jus and I went to on our first date……remember that Jill. I didn’t want to go with him by myself (I didn’t know the kid) so we ate with Jill and her date to PROM. Hahhahah! Fun times! Oh and just when you think the night is over, we went grocery shopping……..where I found that Justin has the same problem as me, if it looks cool he will buy it! Haha! And so the nite was over.

But my favorite part of this whole blog was this morning. As Justin got up at the crack of dawn while I am still drooling on my pillow, he did the sweetest thing. I guess he saw that I was cold and he got a blanket and came and covered me up………well I guess it isn’t much but I loved it. It is those little things that just get my heart! He took the time out of his busy morning and just thought about me for a minute. I really do find myself falling in love with him again and again.

Tonite, it’s manicures and pedicures with Mom Wow, then MNSC, and then my favorite, Laguna Beach!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Hey! Do I know you?

So our weekly bowling ritual is turning out to be much more fun than I imagined. And I can see significant improvement in my game. My new high score is 181…….pretty good for a kid who bowls underhanded in order to save her nails from destruction (who says my priorities are messed up??) But as impressive as that may be, it doesn’t hold a candle to Justin’s 266!!! Yeah, he was so proud of himself…….he made the lady at the desk print out the score card, we’re getting it framed to put on the “man room” wall! It really was amazing. He had 9 strikes in a row! Also, more good news on bowling, Kurt and Toby have submitted their application and were accepted as regulars (that was a joke people). Jennifer and Felipe came for the first time on Tuesday and I am praying that those two will join in on our weekly meeting, that way I’ll have someone I can beat every week (and I am not talking Jenn here! Sorry to call you our like that Felipe)

On another good note, those disgusting parasites known as fleas have now left the building………my little Prissy is back to normal! Yayyy. Praise God for the free new world! (that was a throw-back to Jill’s kindergarten Thanksgiving play of which she can still quote her lines perfectly). But just when you thought it was safe to go outside we have another insect problem………..Love bugs. I really don’t like that they are called “Love” bugs, because I basically hate them!! Please, let me explain…… see, my oh so splendid husband is quite the handyman, always fixing things, and hanging things, and mowing and building………on his quest to rid our new house of all the insects that came in during the building process, he goes to the hardware store and buys the most potent pest killer they have!! (which I was completely for at this point!) After he sprays it, we still have all these bugs, they are just dead bugs now. Which is fine because he bought me a cute little dust-buster to vacuum them up with so that I don’t have to touch anything gross. But then the trauma came……..anyone who lives in Florida knows about the love bug situation at this time of year, they are EVERYWHERE. And like most insects they swarm to light, namely, our porch light. While this, in itself, is not so horrible, when you combine the swarms of love bugs with the insane amounts of pesticide my husband distributed in and around our house……..they don’t just swarm to our front porch, they DIE there!! So we have a sea of thousands of these bugs on our porch, dead. It is sooo bad! A little girl came to our door selling raffle tickets and wouldn’t even come on the porch because she was scared of all the bugs!!! I felt so bad that I bought ten! Hahaha!

So in the middle of writing this blog I went to lunch. While there Tori and I talked a lot about “the people who REALLY know you”. Who are these people?? As most of you know, I live in a place that I am not from. As a matter of fact, 5 years ago I didn’t know any of the people that are in this town. And sometimes (like every three months or so) I get insanely homesick. I miss the people who know my past. They know the way I think and why I think that way. I miss my family, my mom whom I go to for any and every major decision, my brothers and sisters who can hear or see something and I know without a doubt will react the exact same as me, my high school friends and teachers who respected me for my accomplishments and just knew who I was and what I stood for. Yeah, maybe it’s those people who REALLY know me??? But then there is my husband. Who truly knows my heart more than anyone on the planet. He knows everything that I am going through in the present. He knows my dreams, my hopes, my wishes, my hard times, my good times. I couldn’t make it through life without his love. And his family whom have completely taken me in as their own, whom I love dearly. I know how blessed I am to have great in-laws, I really do cherish them. Hey, and there are my best friends. Oh gosh how I love those kids. I can laugh harder than ever, and lip-sync until the sun goes down with them. I can share all my excitements and disappointments with them. I wouldn’t trade their friendship for the world……..maybe it’s truly these people who REALLY know me. But then one day I will have children and their very life will depend on me. They will be with me every waking moment and I will instill everything I am in them. Surely my child will REALLY know me??? It’s at the end of this thought that I realize that I NEED all these people. Separated they all have pieces of me, but together they make up my entire past, present, and future. And the only one who truly knows my every thought and desire, every hair on my head is my one and only Jesus. Do you see how much we NEED him. What a gift it is to always have someone with you that truly KNOWS you!!! And I am so glad he is the one who REALLY understands me because he is the only one who will never leave me or forsake me. This single thought encourages me.

Now I will step off my soapbox because Justin says my blogs are too long! Sorry Jus, if you made it this far in reading! (I’m guessing he quit in the second paragraph……although he does like to skip to the end sometimes so maybe I put this comment in the right place!) I love you my onion-butt!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Are you listening?

1 Kings 19:11-12

11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

So, the obvious point God is trying to make is……..he speaks in whispers, not tornados (or hurricanes), not earthquakes, not fire……all he needs is a whisper. He is a gentle God who caresses our hearts, not rips it to shreds. Now don’t get me wrong, he can teach you SO many things through a broken heart or a hard time, but I believe in that situation, God using the bad for our good. He says all Good and perfect gifts come from him not horrible, devastating gifts. While our all-powerful God ALLOWS for bad things to happen (as part of his perfect plan that we could never begin to fathom, so don’t try) he does not CAUSE bad things to happen. I believe this with all of my heart. How could he??? He loves us more than our feeble human hearts could ever reach, he weeps when we weep and laughs when we laugh!! He longs for us to be happy. All that to say, God speaks in whispers.

I read this verse yesterday and pondered some but, didn’t hit on anything too thought-provoking. Then on my way to work this morning, I heard a song I had never heard before. In the words it said “Let me live a life where a whisper is enough”. Then my whisper came………eureka! Think about it, what is a whisper? to me it is loving and sweet. It’s a gentle way to tell someone something. This fits God’s character perfectly. Of course this is how he speaks to us, with sweetness on his tongue. But further still, I realized that in order for me to hear a whisper I have to be so close to the person speaking, the closer you are, the more likely you are to understand. Duh! The closer I move toward Jesus, the more I read his word, and pray without ceasing, the more of an effort I make to grow closer to my savior………the more I will hear and understand his whispers. Not only this but also, to hear a whisper is deliberate. You have to try, you have to focus. It’s no wonder we don’t hear God’s voice with all the distractions in our world, all the distractions in our heads! We’ve missed it people! We’ve missed the voice of our loving Savior so many times. We were too distracted to hear the voice of the King of all kings. We couldn’t sit still long enough or take the time to be deliberate in listening for our Creator’s wisdom. Have you ever tried to talk to someone who constantly interrupts?? It is the most annoying thing ever. My mom used to tell me “when someone interrupts you, it means they don’t care about what you are saying…….so stop talking!” haha! How many times do I interrupt what God is trying to tell me?? And every time I am implying to him that I don’t care what he is saying……I’m so sorry God. Thank you Lord,that my Savior is not like me. I am so grateful that he wasn’t ADD on the cross. I am so blessed that his focus was on me and not his pain, or his pride, or his pity. Oh what a God we serve!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Furniture, Hernias, and Fleas...Oh MY!

Ahhh, the end of another great weekend! Soo, let's see, I have lots to tell you about since my last post. We got all our new furniture on Friday. I am extremely happy with it. It's just gorgeous! I was scared at first, that all the massive pieces that make up my beloved bedroom suite wouldn't fit in the room but, through much prayer and patience ( and a couple hernia's by Justin, Jeremy, Matt, and the movers) we prevailed! I just love waking up to the smell of the new cedar and then i open my eyes and I get so giddy. I am so thankful that my husband is so stern with our money yet when he knows i REALLY want something, he never denies me. This makes me want to be more reasonable and so grateful when he does give in! Also friday, tori and I started our new ritual of packing our lunch ( I figure the money I save could go towards some sweet new heels!) and meeting in the park for our quiet time. I really think that God is renewing my "first love" for him. I find myself longing for this break in the day when i can just talk about him. I just have this new obsession with always wanting him on my lips, I think it is because the more he is on my lips, the more he is on my mind! I love that. I never want to stop thinking of him. I never want my focus to be on anything but him. That is what we were created to him with everything we are! During our first quiet time in the park Tori said something that really made me shorten the story........because Tori decided to move to DC, someone at her place of employment who was on the "let go" list, will instead have a job!!! Tori says all the other people there have families to support and all that jazz. I just couldn't stop thinking that this person would never know that he/she was on the "let go" list, and therefore would never know what a horrific bullet they dodged and what a tremendous blessing God poured on their family! Which makes me many "secret" blessings does God give to me??? I will never know, but I felt the need to praise him for them. Even when you think you have no blessings to count, you may have some that you can't. God is so cool! Sneaky sneaky, but cool!
Later that night Matt, Kristin, and Kurt came over for pizza and a competetive game of "Catchphrase" was brutal, haah! My synopsis on the situation is this......Matt uses too big of words, Kristin knows things that no one else on earth knows, Kurt can get people to guess things without even saying a word, Justin is the biggest smack talker of all times, and I WIN!! haha!

Saturday was wonderful bliss! Jus and I just got to spend time together.........which seems so far and between these days. I just LOVE our times together. He has the most gentle heart and at that moment his ultimate goal is to make me feel like i am the only one who exists, like a Princess. We just laid around the house (on our new furniture) and gave each other our full attention. As Ms. Joy would call it.......we doted! That is my favorite place to be. Then Saturday night Mom Wow came over and we watched Armagedon and did laundry. It was fun.

Sunday was trying to live up to the greatness of Saturday with all it's might. After an awesome sunday school with the 10th graders (hilarious kids) and the motivational message from Ted Traylor we set off to Destin with our friends Matt and Kristin........I love those kids. They have to sweetest love story. You can just tell they adore each other. We did so much shopping that even I, the shopping Czar, was ready to turn it in for the night. So we grabbed some dinner at Hard Rock and headed back to the homestead. Overall, it was a great weekend!

One bad thing that happened this weekend............Prissy got FLEAS!! I just don't understand, she never goes outside! How does the most pampered dog in the world get fleas??? well, thankfully there is frontline and this new pill called Capstar, which kills all the fleas in 30 minutes. Harley Bogart, are you listening???

So tonight I look forward to MNSC (Monday Night Supper Club, for those of you who aren't members, don't feel bad, there are only 3 of us! ) It's Ms. Joy's pork chops.........yessssssss!

And for those of you in town, bowling night has offically moved to Tuesday! But since Kim (the Oops alley owner) loves Matt and Justin, we now get college night rate on Tuesday night too!! God is good! I love you all!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Yeah, I know, you told me so..........

Okay so, here I am, the girl who swore she would never have a livejournal/blog! But I have finally given in and I stinkin love it. So here is how it happened. God has been teaching me so much lately........and he has given me this new passion for sharing what I am learning with everyone I talk to. Everywhere I go and everything I do now, I am looking for some kind of lesson or truth, i am so hungry to learn more and God is gently teaching me everyday. Plus I want everyone to know what is going on in my life at all times, so I can share all of me with you. One other huge factor in my new obsession with blogging is the fact that I am now a software engineer who stares at the computer all i might as well use my time to inform you all of the intriging life that i have the joy to live! so stay tuned for more oh so fun blogs! Plus my cute little husband says he might want to add a blog or two every once in a while. This should be interesting.

Oh yeah and feel free to comment on anything and everything..........I love to get messages!